Introduction (Will be edited at later dates)
This Handbook is to be used solely for the amusement of pissing off those who are close to you. These close persons maybe friends or relatives but, no matter what, the following pranks and humourous events are some of the most beautiful ways to help them remember you forever… as a dick. A few important things to be noted that appear in this hand book are: a Friend to be Pissed off is obviously someone your trying to piss off and before deciding on the prank, a Friend to be Pissed off should be distinguished beforehand. Person to be Pissed Off will be a name I give someone who is random and I have not any relation to.
This next note deserves its own paragraph because it is pretty important although not completely necessary. This note is about having a Fellow Dick-Friend. A Fellow Dick-Friend can be considered a wingman or co-pilot, every man has a wingman whether they are to stop them from overdosing on alcohol or drugs or to stop them from having sex with a fat cow or STI infested prostitute. But in the case of being a dick: a Fellow Dick-Friend is someone who helps you accomplish your preset plans and does what needs to be done to piss off the predetermined Friend to be Pissed off. Remember everything is always more fun when you go at it as a team.
The following couple paragraphs will name each character in my Handbook and make reference to possible codenames that you may use.
The first character has to go out to the person behind the Four Finger story which you should make sure to read later. This character is dedicated to a girl who had enormous guts (among other things) and is referred to as the Four Finger Gal in this Handbook. No one should be ashamed of their body, even if it can swallow coke bottles. So stand proud and hold your neck up high, and next time some one makes you feel ashamed yell out to the world “I AM NOT AFRAID! I WILL BE PROUD OF MY BODY LIKE MISS FOUR FINGER GAL!”
The second character who appears a few different times is Stoner Skateboarder Dude. If me naming him a stoner in this Handbook gets him in any trouble I take it back and declare it is just a title and he is not actually a stoner, just looks and acts like one. He is a pretty chill guy who will do just about anything from: mooning people through a car window to setting mousetraps for people to step on. He is short but what he doesn’t have in height he makes up for in random sudden outbursts.
Third character if Miss BFFL who I have known pretty much all my life, and she knows most of my Piss Offs. She is named Miss BFFL because one she is a she so she is therefore a Miss and she is my best friend for life also known as BFFL, simple eh? She is a kind person who loves to love people, but she can easily be a dick which is one of the reasons we are so close. She may actually have her own section in this Handbook of her own achievements if she tells me some of her piss off times and techniques. She is a heavy duty dog lover, and if she could marry her dog she would easily ditch any dude she is currently sleeping/intimate with for her dog. Once marriage to animals is legal she will probably elope with her dog.
Another character is Afro-Man who can be as much as a dick as me when he tries. He can become easily pussy whipped, which is a way of saying he will do whatever he can have sex with a girl, whether that is ditching his best friend for a year or completely changing who he is because she believes who he is originally is wrong. He is named Afro-Man because believe it or not he has an afro… and to help picture him think of a white dude with a huge dirty blonde afro. He also usually wears muscle shirts with bands on it. Afro-Man has also been in most of my piss off times and sometimes has been the Friend to be Pissed Off for myself. As I have been for him.
First let me state a few reasons I have written this. My main reason is of course so I, myself will be remembered by others. Some other reasons are because I have had plenty of fun pissing off people and believe that it is a good way to blow off steam. I have participated in various forms of pissing people off, from small things such as: stealing various small objects (one shoe) and hiding it not far from where it originated from but far enough for them not to notice. Then there are the larger things such as: flirting with their girlfriend and asking them if they would like to have sex or break up with their boyfriend (the person who was to be pissed off by myself). There are also miscellaneous things such as: mocking people, constantly teasing and bad mouthing in a joking manor. May I also add that messing with people’s head is a good way to amuse yourself and to become the dick that will always be remembered.
Now I will summarize some events that I have orchestrated which have helped make me renowned as a dick.
This next note deserves its own paragraph because it is pretty important although not completely necessary. This note is about having a Fellow Dick-Friend. A Fellow Dick-Friend can be considered a wingman or co-pilot, every man has a wingman whether they are to stop them from overdosing on alcohol or drugs or to stop them from having sex with a fat cow or STI infested prostitute. But in the case of being a dick: a Fellow Dick-Friend is someone who helps you accomplish your preset plans and does what needs to be done to piss off the predetermined Friend to be Pissed off. Remember everything is always more fun when you go at it as a team.
The following couple paragraphs will name each character in my Handbook and make reference to possible codenames that you may use.
The first character has to go out to the person behind the Four Finger story which you should make sure to read later. This character is dedicated to a girl who had enormous guts (among other things) and is referred to as the Four Finger Gal in this Handbook. No one should be ashamed of their body, even if it can swallow coke bottles. So stand proud and hold your neck up high, and next time some one makes you feel ashamed yell out to the world “I AM NOT AFRAID! I WILL BE PROUD OF MY BODY LIKE MISS FOUR FINGER GAL!”
The second character who appears a few different times is Stoner Skateboarder Dude. If me naming him a stoner in this Handbook gets him in any trouble I take it back and declare it is just a title and he is not actually a stoner, just looks and acts like one. He is a pretty chill guy who will do just about anything from: mooning people through a car window to setting mousetraps for people to step on. He is short but what he doesn’t have in height he makes up for in random sudden outbursts.
Third character if Miss BFFL who I have known pretty much all my life, and she knows most of my Piss Offs. She is named Miss BFFL because one she is a she so she is therefore a Miss and she is my best friend for life also known as BFFL, simple eh? She is a kind person who loves to love people, but she can easily be a dick which is one of the reasons we are so close. She may actually have her own section in this Handbook of her own achievements if she tells me some of her piss off times and techniques. She is a heavy duty dog lover, and if she could marry her dog she would easily ditch any dude she is currently sleeping/intimate with for her dog. Once marriage to animals is legal she will probably elope with her dog.
Another character is Afro-Man who can be as much as a dick as me when he tries. He can become easily pussy whipped, which is a way of saying he will do whatever he can have sex with a girl, whether that is ditching his best friend for a year or completely changing who he is because she believes who he is originally is wrong. He is named Afro-Man because believe it or not he has an afro… and to help picture him think of a white dude with a huge dirty blonde afro. He also usually wears muscle shirts with bands on it. Afro-Man has also been in most of my piss off times and sometimes has been the Friend to be Pissed Off for myself. As I have been for him.
First let me state a few reasons I have written this. My main reason is of course so I, myself will be remembered by others. Some other reasons are because I have had plenty of fun pissing off people and believe that it is a good way to blow off steam. I have participated in various forms of pissing people off, from small things such as: stealing various small objects (one shoe) and hiding it not far from where it originated from but far enough for them not to notice. Then there are the larger things such as: flirting with their girlfriend and asking them if they would like to have sex or break up with their boyfriend (the person who was to be pissed off by myself). There are also miscellaneous things such as: mocking people, constantly teasing and bad mouthing in a joking manor. May I also add that messing with people’s head is a good way to amuse yourself and to become the dick that will always be remembered.
Now I will summarize some events that I have orchestrated which have helped make me renowned as a dick.